Reflection Journal
Vocations: Hearing and Responding to God's Call
"Speak O Lord, Your servant is listening." -- 1 Samuel 3:10
Irene Sulaiman

---

Most people go through a certain stage in life where they finally have to leave the safe comfort zone to the unknown. For Indonesian students in the United States, the experience could vary from graduating college, looking for jobs, entering the new working environment, or facing the decision to stay here or go back to Indonesia. All these could be scary and unpleasant… as our own will and God’s will often intertwine. However, times like that are crucial to the search of our calling in the world. Once we know what our calling is, taking steps towards it is even more important. God-given calling or vocation is one thing that should not be compromised in any Christian’s life for it is often used to accomplish the fulfillment of a specific purpose of what God has planned for us in life. In this reflection journal, I would like to share briefly about my journey in responding to God’s call and how rewarding it has been in my life.

Having discerned God’s will after I graduated college, I was determined that God wanted me to become an attorney. I was not a very bright student, so the decision to go to law school did actually bring some concersns. However, for some reason I was not really worried about that and I just began taking the Law School Admission Test (LSAT) and submitting applications.

Finding the right school was very difficult. My first LSAT score was very poor that I ended up taking the LSAT three times, which is the maximum amount one can take in two years. The low scores (141, 143, and 144) – despite of my participation in an expensive LSAT-preparation class for the last test – and my fair 3.3 undergraduate GPA, both limited my chances to get into a good law school. Usnews.com divided the rankings by top 100, tier three, and tier four law schools, and with the qualifications I had, I was only qualified for four-tier law schools.

I received so many rejection letters and was only admitted into a law school that ranked at the very bottom of the four-tier list. I spent months searching for schools, submitting applications, and writing appeals. I still remember vividly how I specifically requested to God for some three-tier law schools to admit me. I also asked Him for a school that has a good International Law program.

One day, I actually received one e-mail from a three-tier law school saying that I was admitted… but the email turned out to be bogus! The administration office accidentally sent the email while I was not one of the selected ones. I had to call my parents just to cancel the happy news I just informed them.

Then I received a letter informing that I got admitted at the University Of Kansas (KU). I still remember clearly how I dashed to my computer to see what kind of school KU was. I was stunned learning that KU is a top-100 school, has a strong International Law program, and located in Midwest. The last part was actually as important as the first two, as I told God I needed to move out of state and live in a non-Indonesian-dominant community so I could grow (and what can be better than Kansas!). I almost could not believe myself when I saw KU median for its first year law students is 158 for the LSAT and 3.8 for the GPA. Needless to say, I was very under qualified. I must tell you that a particular school placed on the 100th rank has rejected my appeals three times. KU was actually placed the 66th on the usnews ranking system, which is even better than that school! It was surreal. For a moment I was crying uncontrollably, as a result for not being able to express the overwhelming feeling in my heart.

As if it is not enough, a few days later, I got a small envelope telling me I had received a scholarship from KU! I remember I was sitting on the couch, spacing out. I said, “Lord, You know I was only asking for a three-tier law school, but here I am… getting in to a top-100 law school… holding a letter telling me I just got a scholarship… when I thought it must be just another letter telling me the admittance envelope was sent by mistake.”

The surprise did not end there. My two other prayer requests, asking for a strong Catholic church and a good host American family, were also granted. My host family turned out giving me one of the best examples of how a godly family ought to be. I cannot stress enough on how much I have grown during the past three years and how much I’ve fallen in love with Kansas and the community.

First year of law school is supposedly to be the hardest. I had several fellow students, who were very stressed and depressed. Some of them actually decided to drop out of school. My first year of law school was a struggle, but I absolutely loved my first year! I even loved my three-hour final examinations, the old case laws written in ancient English, and the teacher was nominated to be one of the hardest in the school. This puzzled a lot of my friends. In fact, one of my law professors told me one day that he was amazed to see how well I, being an international student, coped with law school.

My journey continues as I began participating in several legal internships. One internship in particular, where I worked for Frans Winarta and Partners in Jakarta, made me realize what areas of law I would like to specialize in, which are Contracts and International Law. I became very passionate about law and it gave me a strange, fascinating feeling. I had never experienced anything like this in my life!

I am very grateful that God has created me as an ordinary average girl. It has let me, the ordinary Irene, to experience His extraordinary ways! Anytime something amazing happens, it humbles my heart because I know for sure where it has come from. I know I do not have much capacity to do a lot of things, and I have to cling to Him, turn to Him, every single time.

Every time I share this experience, it never fails to bring me to the verge of tears as it touches my heart so deeply. I still remember, I used to think I was doing this for God because I wanted to make Him happy. I did not expect and know at that time, that this journey with God, would actually take me to discover the passion of my life. I thought I just wanted to make Him happy, whereas it is actually me who becomes the happiest.

Human beings must have been created to have a close relationship with their Creator. When they are close, when their will is in sync with His, it would make them the happiest person on the planet. We often confine ourselves in our definition of happiness, security, and what we can and cannot do. But who are we to say what makes us happy and secure, what we can and cannot do? God could be very creative when we let Him take control of our lives. The steps in doing what God has called us to do, might seem difficult and impossible to do, but let God decide what is difficult and what is impossible for us. To me, taking the steps has been a rewarding experience. It has blown me beyond my wildest imagination and it has tightened my relationship with Him in an indescribable way. As I will be graduating soon, I am preparing myself for the next step to fulfill my calling. It is my dream to be a competent God-fearing attorney, who makes a difference wherever God wants her to be.

Irene Sulaiman is a third-year law student at the University of Kansas who will be graduating in December 2007. Her current ministry is for Keong Mas, the non-profit human rights advocacy group for Indonesia. Irene is the founder of the group and the coordinator of the legal division.

Back to top