Reflection Journal
Loverine Andrianto and Hendra Widjaja

We have felt and experienced many things since we went back to Indonesia about two and a half years ago. Some are good, some are bad; some are encouraging, and some are discouraging. However, all those experiences were very enriching and transforming because we have hope in God that is Love and brings love into corrupt society just like light into darkness.

We still remember when we first arrived in the Airport of Cengkareng, and sat in a car looking at the views of Jakarta in the evening. Our mind was troubled by the traffic disorder, trashes were everywhere, the beggars, underage children begged for money, and people on the street with no smile on their faces. Even though we had gone home before, this time our heart intensely questioned why the pictures of our country were not pleasing. We wondered what the communities are doing everyday, what they have in mind when they’re doing their routine jobs everyday.

There are police and government officers whose jobs are to manage the beauty and cleanness of the city, business people who build infrastructures and provide services. Each individual is supposed to do his/her job daily in order to make a better life, a better community and society, but the current reality shows that the community is very poor almost in all aspects.

One of the possible answers is that the Indonesians must have a common moral problem. They are probably selfish and egoistic. Vishal Mangalwadi, one of TPM speaker once said that it is the moral of the society that makes a difference on the success of a community.

In fact, we found self-centered mindsets to be very real in Indonesia. Most people concern about their own living, hobby, business and interest. Rarely do we find people who live for others. Families, businesses, churches, and any kind of communities are attacked with problem of self-interest. Indeed, it starts to happen in the smallest circle of our community which is the family unit. Social capital such as trust becomes something that is very expensive. Husband and wife are no longer able to experience sincere love. It is much easier to blame each other’s wrongdoing instead of admitting and forgiving his/her own mistake. The absence of loving and serving others in a family is real. We almost could not believe the stories from our neighborhood and church about broken relationships within the family such as divorces and disappointments between parents and children that usually end up in separations.

We also have to deal with ego issues within our own families. In fact living back together with our parents after college brings new challenges and deeper understandings on how we as family should cooperate and live together. Particularly now that we have more differences in ways of thinking, therefore, listening without pre-assumptions, respecting others’ point of views, and sacrificing our ego become real challenges. The definition of Love in I Corinthians 13 needs to be practiced daily to fill out the absence of love in the family and community. Younger generations and our future children need better role models. Our actions will definitely determine their future and attitude.

In the workplace, we are faced with issues of how we should appreciate employees by compensating them with appropriate rewards. Business is ought to make profit. Greater profits are better for the company, but we need to be able to identify the line between making profit and at the same time giving fair and hopefully big rewards to the employees. Especially in the current slow economic situation, the tendency to spend as little as possible is bigger. On the other hand, employees only concern with their own interests. Covering mistakes that they did, blaming on other coworkers, and are not brave enough to own the problem together. Most of our friends who work in Indonesia share their own negative experiences about the relationship amongst the coworkers and how unhealthy the competitions are.

The same kind of reality happens in the governmental level. We just renewed our driver license recently. This time we tried to make sure we went through all the right procedures. It did feel different. We had to wait about two hours longer than the people who bribed. They could walk through the back door, got their turn to take pictures, and finished early. Through this typical experience, we could feel the injustice and learned how our community is very poor. Even though this case seemed to be a small issue, it could be an indicator that the community has poor social capital.

It is obvious that the self centered culture has been cultivated and flourished in this community. Personally, when we deal with this reality on a daily basis, we often feel frustrated, disappointed, and tired. It is hard and challenging, but at the same time we have to remind ourselves to focus on the cross that Jesus has offered and given to us. It gives us hope and courage indeed. In addition to that, Dr. Melba P. Maggay in her book called Transforming Society also says, “Let us remember that we are up against a foe that in many ways is bigger, brighter, brassier, with massive resources and access to technology that enable it to replicate itself. Beside institutionalized forces of evil, forces of good are usually ragtag bands of do-gooders hardly able to get their act together”. Then she continued, “Since our strength is small, we should learn to conserve energy. Strategically, this means we get selective about our fights”. Therefore, we have to learn not to be drowned into fights with our emotional frustration, but instead, know the reality and understand what is lacking from the society. In parallel we ought to practice producing values and impacts that are missing from the society. The real battle is heading us, and we should be smart enough to recognize who our real enemy is.

When we did bible study in the US, one of the books we used is showing a picture of a king chair in our heart. The entity who sits in that chair is the one who directs our life. Putting God into that chair is not easy, but it is a process that we need to practice and sharpen in many contexts. Our experiences in dealing with the realities of Indonesia are inadequate. However, our identity as Christian Indonesian have been sharpened and tested by them. We realize that it is a process that God used to strengthen and refine our true identities as Christian Indonesian.

It may not seem a pleasant process but His promise has proven to be true and it gives us assurances that we would produce a good thing at the end (Hebrew 12:11, Romans 5:1-5). The fellowship and ministries in the US seemed to be a preparation process planned by God for us. The ideal kind of fellowship is what a miniature kingdom of heaven supposes to be. It feels great to have a true fellowship and trustworthy friends, and also to have a great and working system. Yet, the reality is larger than that. There is a dirty field in Indonesia corrupted society that needs to be cleaned.

We hope our sharing is beneficial, and let us build up one another by exercising the hope that keeps us going on a daily basis. Believe that every step of our journey in this life is a process God wants us to have. Each of those steps gives different color that at the end of the day it becomes a complete beautiful rainbow. May God grant us His love and compassion to serve others and to bring His kingdom come into our country, Indonesia.

Hendra Widjaja and Loverine Andrianto have been back in Indonesia for about two years after completing their undergraduate studies in University of Texas – Austin. They are currently living in Purwokerto, Central Java.

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